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Mommy & Baby: Styles Of
Parenting
By Kirsten Hawkins
As a parent, you
have the opportunity to set the tone in your home based on the style of
you choose. You can choose child-centered
or family-centered parenting—the differences
will be discussed here.
Child-centered Parenting
o
Intensely pursue the child’s happiness, taking great strains
to avoid discomfort or emotional stress for the child.
o The
child receives what she wants when she wants it: no delay, no waiting.
These
concepts might not sound too bad, but what happens when Mom is sick? Or
when Mom & Dad want to leave the baby with a sitter? There is
little-to-no freedom in this
plan—and the baby will not grow in to a child
who understands delayed gratification or how the world works.
Additionally, this sets a child up for a bad case of
“me-ism”—other people will not matter to
her. Her goals and needs are paramount to everyone else’s
goals and needs, and the ability to look outward and understand being
part of a team will be compromised.
Family-centered Parenting
o Keeps the baby’s needs
met, but within the appropriate context of the family unit.
o
The child enters in to a team-setting; she is not the center of the
universe, but part of the family-team.
These
concepts might not seem very different from the child-centered approach
to parenting, but the results of the two methods
are starkly different. Parents have the freedom to
meet their child’s needs and look ahead to developing skills
and abilities, as they aren’t catering to every fleeting whim
or fancy a child might express. Sitters are okay for the family, as the
parents will take time out to “date” and be
intentional with each other. Because a baby raised in a family-centered
plan understands that she is part of a team, she will learn
“we-ism,” not “me-ism.” She
will consider others as she grows and how her goals and needs can be
met within the framework of a team—without compromising the
others on the team.
You may know people on either
side of these
styles who go overboard. That’s not what
I’m advocating here; a balance must be achieved. Remember
these things:
Life doesn’t stop because
you have a baby
Date your spouse
Continue those
loving gestures you enjoyed before your baby came along
Invite some friends over for food and fellowship
At the end
of each day, spend 15 minutes sitting with your spouse, discussing the
day’s eventsAbout The Author: Kirsten Hawkins is a baby and
expert specializing new mothers and single parent
issues. Visit http://www.babyhelp411.com/ for
more information on how to raising healthy, happy children.
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